Hi, this is Christina Newberry from adultchildrenlivingathome.com.
If your children are coming home from college for the holidays, it’s time to talk
about what your expectations are and how you can all live peacefully together.
The relationship between parents and children will always be a parent–child relationship, no matter how will that kid may be. For example, an adult child coming home for the holidays may think that you’re going to do all the cooking and do their laundry, while you may be thinking that you’re going to get a break from cooking every night because that adult child is around to pull their weight.
If you don’t talk about this beforehand, you could both end up feeling resentful and angry. Open communication is the best way to prevent stress and arguments before they happen. So here are some things to talk about.
Number one: Household rules, including swearing and noise
Keep in mind that your adult kids got used to a whole new set of expectations at school, including what kind of language is appropriate to use, how loud music should be, and what time it’s okay to come in at night. Talk about what’s okay in your house and what just isn’t.
Number two: Fair use of resources
Set some guidelines for use of the family computer and be very clear about the guidelines for using and gassing up the family car.
Number three: Overnight guests
Whether you like it or not, your college kid has probably been having sleepovers with his girlfriend while he was away at school. Is it okay with you if he brings her home for a sleepover in his room at your house?
Number four: Chores
A big holiday meal with no help from your adult kids could lead you fuming. Make sure you talk about what your expectations are beforehand so your adult kids doesn’t end up feeling imposed upon and you don’t end up resentful.