Yearly Archives: 2009

News story featuring AdultChildrenLivingatHome.com

We were quoted in a story in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram today about how the recession is bringing families together — for good or worse.

New grad, old room

The recession might be dealing out its leanest hand to new college graduates, who are checking out of dorms and back into their childhood bedrooms in droves.

In 2008, 77 percent of new grads moved back home, up from 67 percent in 2006, according to a poll by Collegegrad.com.

And prospects look even dimmer for 2009 graduates, says Christina Newberry, co-author of The Hands-on Guide to Surviving Adult Children Living at Home.

Newberry, 31, of Vancouver, British Columbia, has been there. She moved back in with parents twice after she graduated from college

“It’s a really hard thing to face, especially if you have been away at university or you have been away and you’ve had your job and you’ve had this independent life . . . and all of a sudden you’re back in the same bedroom you were in as a little kid,” she said.

You can read the whole article here.

The little things can make a big difference

Today we’re sharing a blog post from a woman whose adult son lives with her. She started off her day talking to her son about the great meal she was going to make that evening. When he said it sounded good, she assumed he’d be home to help her eat it.

After a lot of work in the kitchen and a few hours waiting for him to show, it became clear the adult son wasn’t coming home for dinner. When his mom asked him what happened, he said that just because he said the dinner sounded good didn’t mean he’d planned on eating it.

For the mom, this was pretty frustrating, as you can imagine. When parents and kids try to navigate the uncharted waters of living together as adults, small misunderstandings can lead to massive frustration, and even build resentment. It’s important for everyone to talk openly with one another, and to make it clear what things matter to them. Reading this mom’s blog, it’s clear that preparing a meal is an act of love for her — but maybe her son doesn’t get that because she’s always been the one who made his dinners.

You can read the blog post here.

As you read it, think about any niggling details that may be bothering you in your own relationship with your adult kids living at home. Then resolve to talk about those feelings the next time you have a chance. If you need some help working on your communication strategy, our book has some great tips and resources for you to use.

New affiliate program

Hello readers!

We are pleased to announce the we have launched an affiliate program for the print version of our book, The Hands-On Guide to Surviving Adult Children Living at Home. The print version has over 50 pages of the same great content as our eBook, in a handy take-anywhere printed format, with full-color covers and convenient “lay-flat” binding, plus the bonuses and a 30-day guarantee.

The book sells for $37.97 plus shipping, and we offer a 15% commission. If you’d like to sign up for our affiliate program and start earning commissions on The Hands-On Guide to Surviving Adult Children Living at Home, please click here.

"It now takes four of us to make ends meet"

In this tough economy, more adult children are moving home than ever before. And sometimes, it’s not just the adult kids who need financial support. Nowadays, parents may be having a hard time dealing with their own living expenses, and may need the extra financial support that comes from adult kids living at home, even if the adult children can’t contribute much.

Here are some stories of families in just this situation, including one family with two adult children, their spouses and five small children (with a sixth child on the way), plus a teenage stepdaughter and the homeless friend of a college-age son, all living in a three-bedroom home. Their food bill is almost $1,000 a month — but for 14 people, that sounds like a steal.

You can read the whole story here.

Three generations — and 14 people — under one roof

Today’s Dayton Daily News has the story of one family that has three generations — and 14 people — living under one roof. They’ve managed to convert lots of unused spaced into bedrooms, but there’s still only one full bathroom, which makes for tight scheduling! With several of their kids, plus their kids’ kids, all living in what was originally a three bedroom home, they’re sure to face some interesting challenges.

You can read the full article here.

Generation Y has never learned to save

A new study from Australia shows that in that country, 24% of Generation Y respondents said they have never had to budget or save, and 35% have had to do so only when they wanted to buy a specific item or go on a holiday.

The reason? Until now, economic times have been consistently good in their lifetimes, and they have always been propped up by Mom and Dad. Unfortunately, the survey shows that 80% of baby boomer parents wish their kids would learn better budgeting and saving skills. That’s because 71% of boomer parents are worried about their own financial future and the potential of delayed retirement since their finances have taken a hit in the economic crisis. Sadly, almost half of the boomer parents surveyed said they feel guilty about having to give less financial support to their adult kids.

In our book, we advise that you should never compromise your own financial health to support your adult children, unless they are in crisis. Delaying your own retirement to help fund your child’s living expenses or schooling sets a bad example, as they will only become more dependent on you, rather than learning to face and plan for financial challenges on their own.

You can read the whole article here.

Recent News Stories featuring AdultChildrenLivingatHome.com

This weekend, we were featured on News1130 Radio in Vancouver and in the Calgary Herald newspaper.

To listen to one of the clips from News1130 Radio, click here.

Our tips for the Calgary Herald article were for families who have new grads moving back home this summer. The key tips from the article are:

  • Establish ground rules prior to move-in. It may sound harsh, but some families find a contract can help formalize rules and keep everyone on the same page.
  • How will the kids contribute? They may not be able to afford market-value rent, but grown children should help offset the extra expenses they create (more money spent on food, higher phone bill, greater water consumption, etc.). Give them the heads up on what’s expected beforehand.
  • Don’t make living at home a dream come true. A university grad is capable of painting their room, doing their laundry and making their lunch. – Set a deadline for them to leave. Setting a timeline keeps everyone focused on the fact that eventually the young adult needs to become independent.
  • Stay calm. Planning the details of your kid’s return home can be stressful. Take some deep breaths and work on developing new communication techniques — they’ll come in handy.

You can read the whole article here.

Different perspectives on adult children living at home

A recent article from the New York Times provides some different perspective from adult children who are living at home. Some feel the bedroom they have at their parents’ house is their last bit of private space and figure they should be able to treat it how they want (as long as they don’t damage the house). Others strongly feel that they are guests in their parents homes and strive to minimize the impact of the presence, even in their own bedroom. Which perspective is playing out in your house?

You can read the whole article here.

If you’re struggling to find a balance between your adult child’s need for space and privacy and your own needs for your home, check out the tips offered in our book.

View living with your adult kids as a chance to get to know each other

A recent article from Forbes offer this tip on how families with adult children living at home can get the most out of the experience:

As trite as it might sound, the watchwords here are tolerance and curiosity. If everyone can approach the new living arrangement as an opportunity to learn more about each other, insists Joelson, the situation can go from being a burden to an enriching experience.

You can read the whole article here.

Life with 'boomerang kids' can bring some conflicts

We were quoted in an article about adult children living at home in today’s Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

“The communication part is so important,” says Christina Newberry, 31, of Vancouver, British Columbia, whose Web site, www.adultchildrenlivingathome.com, markets a $27.97 contract for parents and children that lists the ground rules in advance.

“Conversations are helpful, but it can be really difficult when you’re having a fight to remember exactly what you agreed to do or not do,” said Ms. Newberry. “Agreeing on the rules ahead of time is a really helpful way to make sure everyone is on the same page.”