Yearly Archives: 2009

Tips for helping your kids learn to manage their own money

A recent article from Moneywise Magazine offers some great tips for helping your children become better money managers. why is this important? Well, according to the article, your adult children may be bouncing back to you for financial support for much longer than you think — and they may think that’s just fine:

A recent study by The Children’s Mutual has identified a new generation which considers itself to be ‘financially independent’ while still accepting parental subsidies for everything from day-to-day living costs to house deposits. The study suggests that this generation is set to keep bouncing back for support, and this could have a serious impact on some parents’ financial futures.

The article offers tips to help children learn to manage money starting when they’re infants. You’ve probably missed that opportunity with your kids, but the article also provides helpful tips for university students and adult kids over age 21.

For adult kids, the most important tips is to understand when helping is really helpful, and when you should let your kids find their own way. Here’s what the article suggests:

When you should bail your kids out

* Medical bills: If your child has an accident or falls ill, you should consider paying for medical costs if it gets them fit and well quickly.

* Legal costs: If your child has to fight a legal case they would benefit from help with the bill, especially if the situation has arisen through no fault of their own.

* If they’re in danger: If they have naively got involved with drug dealers or loan sharks and are in physical danger, it would be wise to bail them out.

* To further their career: Supporting your child through a work experience placement or internship, or buying them a car to travel to work can be a good long-term investment.

When you shouldn’t bail your kids out

* Bank overdrafts and credit card debts: If they’ve got into debt as a result of hedonistic living, helping them pay their debts won’t help them learn to manage their finances.

* Speeding tickets and parking fines: Children of any age need to learn that their actions have consequences, so make sure they pay off fines themselves.

* If it puts your own finances under strain: Adult children should be able to stand on their own feet, so don’t give them money if it leaves you struggling.

More decorating advice for boomerang kids' rooms at home

We’ve already shared some tips on how to update your adult child’s space so that he or she doesn’t feel like the move home is a move straight back into childhood. Here are some more tips, this time from the Cape Cod Times.

Here’s their list of five-second fixes for your adult child’s room:

  • Add some fluff: Decorative pillows in corresponding colors can give a bit of pop to a plain bedspread.
  • Floor it: Adding an Oriental rug or other vibrant floor covering disguises ratty carpet and brightens the room.
  • Print ’em: A favorite print, a blown-up photo of friends, or a tapestry hung on the wall immediately draws the eye toward it – and away from the piles of dirty clothes in the corner.
  • All-in-one: A bed-in-a-bag set, which often contains a comforter, sheets and pillowcases, can refurbish a room in one fell swoop.
  • It’s a keeper: A favorite keepsake, such as a high school trophy or beloved teddy bear, will ensure the room is comfortable, no matter how many changes are made.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Family dynamic changes as each child returns home

Here’s a recent article from Ohio that profiles families with adult children moving home. One mother, who is now sharing her home with her 20-year-old and 27-year-old daughters, as well as her 29-year-old son-in-law, says that things change as each new person moves into the home, just as they changed when the girls first arrived home as infants:

“I remember bringing home each new baby. As with any family dynamic, everything changes and we had to shuffle and make things work.”

You can read the whole article here.

Adult children living at home in the UK, Italy, and Japan

A recent article from Scotland on Sunday reports on the trends of adult children living at home in the UK, Italy, and Japan.

One interesting thing to note is the different terminology used to describe the phenomenon. In the US, adult children returning home are often called “Boomerang Kids.” In Australia and the UK, they are called “KIPPERS” (kids in parents’ pockets eroding retirement savings), and in Japan they are call “Parasite Singles”(!). That last one is a pretty loaded term!

Moving home is different at 45 than 25

This recent article from the Ventura County Star tells the stories of some families with adult children who have moved home, or are considering doing so, because of layoffs and other economic troubles. According to the article:

For young adults in their 20s or 30s, moving back in with parents can create a power struggle around the young adult’s emerging identity, according to Dr. Debra Sheets, a CSU, Northridge health sciences professor who counts intergenerational issues among her specialties.

Younger adults are still marking their territory, but when you’re older, you’re supposed to be established. Moving back in with the parents holds a more negative social stigma.

Is living at home a good financial strategy?

Here’s an interesting blog post from a twentysomething who argues that living at home is not a way to mooch off of mom and dad, but a sound financial strategy. Here’s a short quote:

More and more adult children are moving back home, and not so they can spend all day watching porn in their basement-cum-living-quarters while Mom does their laundry and brings them PBJ sandwiches all day long. Most these days have jobs, have financial obligations they are meeting, and are contributing financially and/or in terms of responsibilities in their parents’ home. Some parents even say it’s given them a financial break. Also, many families cite that it has fostered closer inter-generational relationships and that they feel like they appreciate and respect one another more for the experience.

Does this match up to the experience you’re having with your adult children living at home? you may need some tips to help get things back on track. You can learn some useful planning and communications strategies in my eBook: The Hands-On Guide to Surviving Adult Chldren Living at Home.

Are your kids graduating college this year? Plan ahead for a smooth transition home.

We posted a new article on our site today, all about how you can plan ahead to make sure your new grad’s return to the nest is a smooth one. Here are some tips from the article:

  • Establish ground rules now: Some families with adult children living at home find a contract can help formalize the rules and keep everyone on the same page.
  • Decide ahead of time how they will contribute: They may not be able to afford market-value rent, but adult children living at home should help make a dent in the extra expenses they create (extra gas, higher phone bill, etc.). Make sure this is clear before they start packing up the dorm.
  • Don’t help too much: A college grad is capable of painting their room and planning their own move. Don’t take care of all the details or you’ll find yourself doing laundry and making lunches once they’re home.
  • Set a deadline for them to leave: Though it may sound harsh, setting a time limit ahead of time helps keep everyone focused on the fact that eventually the new grad needs to establish their independence.
  • Above all: Stay calm! Planning the details of your new grad’s return to the nest can be stressful, but anger isn’t helpful. Try a time out, or work on developing new communication techniques – they’ll come in handy once you’re all sharing a home.

You can read the rest of the article here.

New college grads having a tough time finding jobs

With unemployment rising sharply just as this year’s class of graduates is coming to the end of their education, people are starting to wonder just what will happen to the class of 2009.

The young graduates themselves seem terrified, with a huge portion of them planning to move home because there’s no other way they can see themselves making rent.

Here are some thoughts from college seniors from a recent article at NewsDaily.com:

“You’re graduating into this world and being thrown out of the college bubble and you’re supposed to be able to get a job, which just doesn’t exist.

“Most people I know my age still live at home because they can’t even get it together to make enough money to pay rent. Each class piles up against the ones before it. I know so many people who are looking for jobs, and have been since they graduated. There’s this sense of ‘No hope.'”
– Andrew Heber, 24, class of  2007

“People are saying this is the worst year to graduate, ever.”
– Amanda Haimes, 22, class of 2009

If you have an adult child who is set to graduate this Spring, now’s the time to start the conversation about future living arrangements. Some new graduates may assume they’re moving home to live with Mom and Dad, even if they haven’t let you in on the plan. Talk to them now about what their plans are, and what your expectations are if they do return to the nest.