Author Archives: Christina Newberry

Recent News Stories featuring AdultChildrenLivingatHome.com

This weekend, we were featured on News1130 Radio in Vancouver and in the Calgary Herald newspaper.

To listen to one of the clips from News1130 Radio, click here.

Our tips for the Calgary Herald article were for families who have new grads moving back home this summer. The key tips from the article are:

  • Establish ground rules prior to move-in. It may sound harsh, but some families find a contract can help formalize rules and keep everyone on the same page.
  • How will the kids contribute? They may not be able to afford market-value rent, but grown children should help offset the extra expenses they create (more money spent on food, higher phone bill, greater water consumption, etc.). Give them the heads up on what’s expected beforehand.
  • Don’t make living at home a dream come true. A university grad is capable of painting their room, doing their laundry and making their lunch. – Set a deadline for them to leave. Setting a timeline keeps everyone focused on the fact that eventually the young adult needs to become independent.
  • Stay calm. Planning the details of your kid’s return home can be stressful. Take some deep breaths and work on developing new communication techniques — they’ll come in handy.

You can read the whole article here.

Different perspectives on adult children living at home

A recent article from the New York Times provides some different perspective from adult children who are living at home. Some feel the bedroom they have at their parents’ house is their last bit of private space and figure they should be able to treat it how they want (as long as they don’t damage the house). Others strongly feel that they are guests in their parents homes and strive to minimize the impact of the presence, even in their own bedroom. Which perspective is playing out in your house?

You can read the whole article here.

If you’re struggling to find a balance between your adult child’s need for space and privacy and your own needs for your home, check out the tips offered in our book.

View living with your adult kids as a chance to get to know each other

A recent article from Forbes offer this tip on how families with adult children living at home can get the most out of the experience:

As trite as it might sound, the watchwords here are tolerance and curiosity. If everyone can approach the new living arrangement as an opportunity to learn more about each other, insists Joelson, the situation can go from being a burden to an enriching experience.

You can read the whole article here.

Life with 'boomerang kids' can bring some conflicts

We were quoted in an article about adult children living at home in today’s Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

“The communication part is so important,” says Christina Newberry, 31, of Vancouver, British Columbia, whose Web site, www.adultchildrenlivingathome.com, markets a $27.97 contract for parents and children that lists the ground rules in advance.

“Conversations are helpful, but it can be really difficult when you’re having a fight to remember exactly what you agreed to do or not do,” said Ms. Newberry. “Agreeing on the rules ahead of time is a really helpful way to make sure everyone is on the same page.”

Tips for helping your kids learn to manage their own money

A recent article from Moneywise Magazine offers some great tips for helping your children become better money managers. why is this important? Well, according to the article, your adult children may be bouncing back to you for financial support for much longer than you think — and they may think that’s just fine:

A recent study by The Children’s Mutual has identified a new generation which considers itself to be ‘financially independent’ while still accepting parental subsidies for everything from day-to-day living costs to house deposits. The study suggests that this generation is set to keep bouncing back for support, and this could have a serious impact on some parents’ financial futures.

The article offers tips to help children learn to manage money starting when they’re infants. You’ve probably missed that opportunity with your kids, but the article also provides helpful tips for university students and adult kids over age 21.

For adult kids, the most important tips is to understand when helping is really helpful, and when you should let your kids find their own way. Here’s what the article suggests:

When you should bail your kids out

* Medical bills: If your child has an accident or falls ill, you should consider paying for medical costs if it gets them fit and well quickly.

* Legal costs: If your child has to fight a legal case they would benefit from help with the bill, especially if the situation has arisen through no fault of their own.

* If they’re in danger: If they have naively got involved with drug dealers or loan sharks and are in physical danger, it would be wise to bail them out.

* To further their career: Supporting your child through a work experience placement or internship, or buying them a car to travel to work can be a good long-term investment.

When you shouldn’t bail your kids out

* Bank overdrafts and credit card debts: If they’ve got into debt as a result of hedonistic living, helping them pay their debts won’t help them learn to manage their finances.

* Speeding tickets and parking fines: Children of any age need to learn that their actions have consequences, so make sure they pay off fines themselves.

* If it puts your own finances under strain: Adult children should be able to stand on their own feet, so don’t give them money if it leaves you struggling.

More decorating advice for boomerang kids' rooms at home

We’ve already shared some tips on how to update your adult child’s space so that he or she doesn’t feel like the move home is a move straight back into childhood. Here are some more tips, this time from the Cape Cod Times.

Here’s their list of five-second fixes for your adult child’s room:

  • Add some fluff: Decorative pillows in corresponding colors can give a bit of pop to a plain bedspread.
  • Floor it: Adding an Oriental rug or other vibrant floor covering disguises ratty carpet and brightens the room.
  • Print ’em: A favorite print, a blown-up photo of friends, or a tapestry hung on the wall immediately draws the eye toward it – and away from the piles of dirty clothes in the corner.
  • All-in-one: A bed-in-a-bag set, which often contains a comforter, sheets and pillowcases, can refurbish a room in one fell swoop.
  • It’s a keeper: A favorite keepsake, such as a high school trophy or beloved teddy bear, will ensure the room is comfortable, no matter how many changes are made.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Family dynamic changes as each child returns home

Here’s a recent article from Ohio that profiles families with adult children moving home. One mother, who is now sharing her home with her 20-year-old and 27-year-old daughters, as well as her 29-year-old son-in-law, says that things change as each new person moves into the home, just as they changed when the girls first arrived home as infants:

“I remember bringing home each new baby. As with any family dynamic, everything changes and we had to shuffle and make things work.”

You can read the whole article here.

Adult children living at home in the UK, Italy, and Japan

A recent article from Scotland on Sunday reports on the trends of adult children living at home in the UK, Italy, and Japan.

One interesting thing to note is the different terminology used to describe the phenomenon. In the US, adult children returning home are often called “Boomerang Kids.” In Australia and the UK, they are called “KIPPERS” (kids in parents’ pockets eroding retirement savings), and in Japan they are call “Parasite Singles”(!). That last one is a pretty loaded term!

Moving home is different at 45 than 25

This recent article from the Ventura County Star tells the stories of some families with adult children who have moved home, or are considering doing so, because of layoffs and other economic troubles. According to the article:

For young adults in their 20s or 30s, moving back in with parents can create a power struggle around the young adult’s emerging identity, according to Dr. Debra Sheets, a CSU, Northridge health sciences professor who counts intergenerational issues among her specialties.

Younger adults are still marking their territory, but when you’re older, you’re supposed to be established. Moving back in with the parents holds a more negative social stigma.

Is living at home a good financial strategy?

Here’s an interesting blog post from a twentysomething who argues that living at home is not a way to mooch off of mom and dad, but a sound financial strategy. Here’s a short quote:

More and more adult children are moving back home, and not so they can spend all day watching porn in their basement-cum-living-quarters while Mom does their laundry and brings them PBJ sandwiches all day long. Most these days have jobs, have financial obligations they are meeting, and are contributing financially and/or in terms of responsibilities in their parents’ home. Some parents even say it’s given them a financial break. Also, many families cite that it has fostered closer inter-generational relationships and that they feel like they appreciate and respect one another more for the experience.

Does this match up to the experience you’re having with your adult children living at home? you may need some tips to help get things back on track. You can learn some useful planning and communications strategies in my eBook: The Hands-On Guide to Surviving Adult Chldren Living at Home.