Lessons learned from "The Nest"

We told you about an Australian reality show called “The Nest” that dealt with the issue of adult children living at home.

With the show having wrapped, the show’s financial expert has written an article sharing his thoughts on some of the lessons to be learned from the show. Here’s an excerpt:

One of the main reasons adult children continue to live at home is that it gives them a leg-up financially.

Yet none of the adult children on The Nest, including those in their late 20s, were any better off for all the benefits of being subsidised by their parents. Living at home had not made them better money managers. Quite the reverse.

Most had credit card debts. None had any savings to speak of.

Here’s the rub: letting them stay in the parental pad long after their education commitments had finished had hurt them more than it had helped them.

It was clear that the parents were killing their kids with kindness.

In our book, we discuss strategies for setting up financial arrangements that work for all members of your household, including any adult children who may be living at home, so that no on bears too much of a burden and everyone learns about responsibility. You can find our tips here.

Less stigma for adult children living at home

We all know by now that it’s becoming more and more common for adult children to live at home well into their twenties, thirties, or even forties. Fortunately for families dealing with all the extra challenges of extra adults in the home, social stigma is becoming less of a concern. With so many young adults still living with Mom and Dad, their friends (and their parents’ friends) are becoming less and less likely to think there’s anything wrong with the living arrangement.

This recent article from the Wall Street Journal explains why it’s becoming socially acceptable for young people to rely on their parents for a few extra years.

Sticks and stones may break their bones…

BLUDGER: noun, a person who lives off the efforts of others; a person who does not pay his fair share or who does not make a fair contribution to a cost, enterprise, etc., a cadger; an idler, one who makes little effort. (Australian National Dictionary Centre)

It seems adult children living at home in Australia are tired of getting labeled with the “bludger” stereotype. The author of this article talks to a few of them and their families to find out why.

Australian TV drama "Packed to the Rafters" features family with adult children living at home

Families with adult children living at home must be coming more common, and more socially acceptable — they’re starting to show up on TV!

Here’s the descripion of Australian TV station Channel Seven’s new family drama “Packed to the Rafters”:

Meet Dave and Julie Rafter (Erik Thomson and Rebecca Gibney) – just your average Australians with three grown-up children. On the eve of their twenty-fifth wedding-anniversary it seems they’re at last about to have the house to themselves. Offspring Rachel, Ben and Nathan (played by newcomers Jessica Marais, Hugh Sheridan and Angus McLaren) have all developed into well-rounded and out-going, if exceptionally different and complex, individuals, with a raft of their own conflicts and dilemmas. But home can seem a very welcome refuge when unforeseen problems loom.

Source: ebroadcast.com.au

Meet the 3 families of "The Nest"

Back in March, we told you about a producer looking for families with adult children living at home for a TV show he was shooting in Sydney, Australia. Over 300 families, applied, but the three who will be featured have now been chosen

  • Paul and Jenny Wilkinson, who share their home with four adult children aged 20-27, plus their son Aaron’s live-in girlfriend.
  • Chris and Kerri Curran, who have two of their three children still living at home.
  • Oscar and Marta Troche, who adult daughter Anielka, 25, is in no hurry to move out.

The Nest airs on Australian TV station SBS on June 28.

Source: Sydney Morning Herald

Welcome to extended adolescence

We recently attended a conference where Max Valiquette, President and CEO of youthography.com was a keynote speaker. He shared some interesting insights about a new trend he calls “extended adolescence.”

If your adult children are still living at home (or have boomeranged home again) you already know that adolescence (that state of almost-adulthood) is lasting longer than ever before. For example:

  • in larger cities, 54-59% of 20-29-year-olds live at home
  • the average age to graduate from university is now 25 (20 years ago it was 23)
  • the average age of first marriage is 28 (20 years ago it was 25)
  • the average age to give birth to your first child is 29 (20 years ago it was 26)

What’s also interesting is that kid are entering adolescence earlier than ever before:

  • the average kid is put into their first organized educational “classroom” before age 4
  • the average kid tries their first cigarette by age 13
  • kids now have to make decisions about what courses to take in high school that can profoundly affect the direction their lives will take (starting as early as age 14)

Fifty years ago, adolescence as a concept didn’t exist. You were a child, then you were adult. Now, we have this extended concept of adolescence that lasts for 10, 20, even up to 30 years. How is this changing the way you relate to your kids — and how they view your responsibilities towards them?

Are you helping your children… or stifling their independence?

Just because your adult children are living at home, that doesn’t mean you need to continue to support them in the same way you did when they were kids. As we discuss in our book, providing too much financial support for your grown children can hold them back from establishing their own careers and developing sound financial management skills.

This article, based on the book “Does Your Bag Have Holes” by Cameron C. Taylor, uses simple stories to illustrate why letting your children find their own wings can be the best thing you ever do for them.

Who pays for grad school?

With so many adult children returning home after completing an undergraduate degree, families are facing a new question: who pays for grad school? A generation ago, it would have been virtually unheard of for parents to pay for a master’s degree, but with many grad school students or applicants still living with Mom and Dad, parents may end up bearing some financial burden when their kids go to grad school, even if they’re not paying the tuition.

This article offers tips on how to help your adult kids decide on financing options for grad school — and whether it makes sense for you to help foot the bill.

Your health insurance may cover your adult child — up to age 30!

Many states are passing legislation that requires employer-provided health care to extend coverage to dependent adult children living at home well past the tradition cut-off age of 19 for non-students.

For example, in Kentucky adult children lliving at home must be covered by the parent’s employer-provided health insurance up to age 25, whether they’re students or not. In New Jersey, depending on the situation, your adult child may be covered up to age 30.

This article looks at the issue from the employer’s perspective, but it also provides a good overview of what the new trends in legislation are. Take a look to see what teh current guidelines are for your state, then make sure you take advantage of them!

Adult Children Living at Home in the media

Do you need help navigating your relationship
with your adult child living in your home?


Click here to learn more about my Hands-on Guide To Surviving Adult Children Living at Home, including my Household Budget Calculator, and Customizable "Under One Roof" Contract, or buy now!