"Zero rent gets you the creepy room": A charming perspective from one adult child living at home

Today we share with you the story of Sam, a 22-year-old New Zealander who’s back living at home after 3 years away. While he was gone, his mother took over the newly vacated “spare room” for her craft passion. His parents’ house has a guest room, too, but that’s not where he lives. No, he gets the “creepy room.” Here’s how he describes it:

Although there is a guestroom, I have been assigned to a room labeled by my father as “the adult child returning home” room, although this is a purpose it has evolved into over the years. It was originally built in a section of the attic as a room for my then ten-year-old brother. There is no door, just a set of stairs that leads directly into a single room with bright colours and walls that connect the ceiling and floor at a forty-five degree angle, as opposed to the standard ninety. It’s the ultimate tree fort, and a child’s dream room.

It’s an adult’s nightmare.

But Sam bears his parents no ill will for the attic room. He shares his perspective on his blog, in an entry that is worth checking out if you have adult children living at home.

How will Gen Y (your kids?) cope with the recession?

A new article from smh.com.au looks at the impact of the recession on the so-far easy lifestyles of Generation Y, many of whom have the financial buffer of still living at home.

The article figures Generation Y is going to be just fine:

Of all the generations, gen Y is the one most likely to cope well. Their extended “adultescence”, with no spouse, children or mortgage, means they will be the last to rein in their spending. Although their confidence – after a lifetime of being told they’re infallible – will be shaken, Salt [a demographer with KPMG] believes their adaptability will kick in as a survival mechanism.

If you’re dealing with Generation Y-ers who have recently returned to the nest, a solid communications strategy will be key to making the situation livable for everyone — including the kids with the shaken confidence and possibly bruised egos. You can find tips for communication with your adult children moving home here.

AARP: 33% of 18-49-year-olds live with parents or in-laws

With Americans of all ages feeling the effects of the economic crisis and the plummeting housing market, mutigenerational households may become more prevalent in the coming years. AARP Bulletin, the go-to news source for 50+ America, recently released the results of an exclusive new survey that looks at housing trends and how the economy may be impacting adults’ living situations. More than 1,000 people age 18 and older were surveyed about who they live with, how likely it is that they will need to move in with another family member or friend, and how comfortable they would be living with additional friends or family members if that would become necessary.

The results show a direct relation between a loss of income and young adults who are moving back home with their parents after a period of independence. Additional key findings include:

Multigenerational Housing: 11% of people age 50+ live with their grandchildren or their parents.

“Boomerang Adults”: 11% of people age 35-44 report living with their parents or their in-laws.

Why People Move: 34% of people who said that they would likely have to move in with family or friends said that it would be due to a loss of income.

“The recession is having an impact on people of all ages, and the effects are starting to be felt at home,” said Jim Toedtman, Vice President and Editor of AARP Bulletin. “We see more people living under the same roof as their parents and their adult children. As Americans face tougher economic conditions, we’ll likely see more of this.”

Results of AARP Bulletin’s Multigenerational Housing survey suggest that as jobs continue to disappear and the foreclosure crisis continues, millions of 50+ Americans will be living with their adult children and grandchildren in multigenerational homes.

Multigenerational Housing and Boomerang Adults

The survey found that that 4% of people age 50+ are currently living with their grandchildren. Results also showed 33% of respondents age 18-49 live with parents or in-laws. A further analysis of this group showed 11% of respondents age 35-44 live with parents or in-laws. Of those respondents, 9% report living with their parents and 2% reporting living with their in-laws.

Likelihood of Moving in With Others

When asked how likely it is that they may need to move in with family members or friends or have family members or friends move in with them, 15% said that it was likely. Among those who thought it would be likely, the largest percentage — about one-third (34%) — said it would be due to a loss of income, 19% said that it would be due to a change in job status and 8% cited home foreclosure as the reason.

Results also showed that respondents between 18 and 34 are more likely than older respondents to have already made such a move (20% vs. 9% for those age 35-44; 8% for those 45-54; 9% for those 55-64; and 7% for those 65+).

Comfort in Living with Additional Friends or Family Members

Roughly one in seven (14%) respondents said they would not be very comfortable, and nearly three in ten (29%) would not be at all comfortable living with additional friends or family members. In contrast, 14% said they would be extremely comfortable and 14% said they would be very comfortable if such a change in housing became necessary. More than a quarter (27%) of respondents said they would be somewhat comfortable with such an arrangement.

Additional information can be found in the March 2009 issue of AARP Bulletin at http://www.aarp.org/research/housing-mobility/affordability/multigen_housing.html.

AARP Bulletin’s Multigenerational Housing Survey was conducted by International Communications Research, Inc. (ICR) in January 2009. A short telephone survey among a nationally representative sample of adults ages 18 and older was taken to learn more about housing patterns and their options about how their own housing situation may change in the next year. The total sample consisted of 1,002 adults who are 18 and older.

Source: AARP/PRNewswire

Appeal court recognizes parents' home is under their control

The North County Times reported today on a decision from a federal appeals court that has affirmed the right of homeowner parents who live on their property to challenge search warrants served on adult children living at home with them.

The parents’ attorney had this to say about the ruling:

“Parents, you have a privacy interest in the separate areas of your home, even for your adult children who live with you.”

You can read the whole article here.

Adult children's stuff stays at home — even when the adult children move out

For families with adult children living at home, space can often be a concern. Adults simply need more personal space than children do, and the needs of several adults living in one home can clash.

For some families, space is an issue long after the adult children finally move out — because they leave so much of their stuff behind at Mom and Dad’s.

There’s Louise Hill, for example, who at 91 is still storing a garage full of stuff belonging to her 65-year-old son.

You can read more about Louise, and other families squeezed out by their adult kids’ stuff, in this article from The Floria Times-Union.

When establishing a timeline for your adult children to leave home, don’t leave yourself responsible for taking care of their stuff for the rest of your life. For your adult child to reach true independence, they must not only move out of your house themselves, they must take their belongings with them.

It may not be possible for adult kids to take all of their cherished possessions with them when they first manage to find an apartment or have roommates, and there’s nothing wrong with keeping their stuff around if it helps them out and you have the space. But if you want to downsize, or turn your child’s old bedroom into a den, it’s time to get firm on a “stuff-removal” timeline. You may want to put this step into the timeline you create that establishes milestones for your adult child’s stay at home and their transition to a place of their own.

You can learn how to create a timeline for helping adult children establish independence at www.adultchildrenlivingathome.com

Families with adult children living at home have more arguments

A new study from the Australian Institute of Family Studies shows that 23- and 24-year-olds living at home have 6 times more arguments with their parents than those who have moved out. According to an article about the study in The Herald Sun:

Almost one in five young adults who live at home argue with their parents weekly, compared with just 3 per cent who’ve moved out.

Both parents and offspring report less positive family relationships than those who have cut the apron strings.

It can definitely be a strain to maintain an effective parent-child relationship when your children stay at home longer than you’d planned. Remember that communication is the foundation of any good relationship. Click here for tips on communication strategies to use with your adult children living at home.

Adult Children Living at Home in the media

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